I used to have peace… but then I had a …

I used to have peace... but then I had a ...

Comment on Treating the whole person: How a small community of philanthropists made a big difference in health care by V4EKKRINH4RT.

I used to have peace… but then I had a serious hand injury at work, and after 5 surgeries in 8 months I was addicted to Vicodin… I kicked this habit cold turkey with HORRIBLE withdrawals that lasted 3 weeks- 3 weeks of hell…. Then began my alcohol addiction, and it has me by the balls. I've been drunk every fkng night for the past 3 yrs straight. It's ruined my marriage and I've hurt people..I've been in jail for disorderly conduct. I irresponsibly allowed one of my dogs to get loose, and he ended up with his skull crushed on the highway… My mom is in hell because of my stupid fkng ass… I hate my job and sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, as the saying goes…I'm manic-depressive also… I'm only happy if I have alcohol, weed, and pain killers; otherwise, I'm fkng miserable.. I need help. I had a phychiatrist tell me that my trajectory is suicide and/ or prison.. I'm hanging by a thread, it feels. Since this past Wed, I've said, "Today I won't drink." But I drink. THursday, same fkng thing.. Friday, ditto… What the fk do I do? I've called off over 30x this year at work; it's a fkng miracle that I still have a job. I hate my fucking job (I know, everyone does)… How do I make the first step? And what IS the first step???

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